I have no ID card, passport, drivers license, that will say, for example, I’m a “night person”. I don’t do daylight, I don’t trust daylight, I don’t like it. Many of you are day people, you’re fine with it. Grand! If you’re a day person, night-time leaves you alone. But if you’re a night person, daylight has no such qualms. Daylight will climb underneath the curtains, bounce off the carpet, off the ceiling, off the carpet, off the ceiling into your fecking eyes and wake you up.

Dara, me old pal, you’ve got it spot on there. [Ali-G style, making “N” with fingers] Night-time iz de bezt! [/Ali-G]

I have to work during the day because thats when all the people I communicate with are working! However, I do it from home, with the blinds and curtains shut, and often with the light off too, basking in the light of my LCD monitor, with brightness as low as it will go. Daylight makes me screw my eyes up, forces me to shut one eye, and makes me generally look as if I am in pain. Which I am… strong daylight physically hurts my eyes. For proof of my anguish all you have to do is ask me to keep my eyes open for a photo in bright sunlight. You’ll see me struggle and fail to do so - and even if I do succeed, the photo looks horrible because the rest of my face is contorted with the effort of keeping both eyes open at once. At night time, or in the dark, no such problem, and my eyes work great together. Just not during the day.

If only it was easier to sleep when it is light outside…